Korach – 5778

Written for Shabbat Parshat Korach, ג בתמוז תשע”ח:

Both this week’s Parsha and last or replete with important lessons. Many of them are obvious, but along with those lessons also come some very important role models. Exemplary behavior is displayed from some of the greatest figures in our history which makes for excellent role models for us to emulate. In fact, I have myself witnessed many individuals who have taken the example set forth by these biblical figures to heart and act on them regularly.

Let’s start with some role models from last week; there were many. Ten great leaders of the nation, each of a different tribe, had returned from their trip as the first Jews to visit Eretz Yisrael. When they returned they had the guts to tell the truth about Eretz Yisrael: the land is nice, but the people are horrible, scary, and mean; it’s far too dangerous to live there and no place to raise a family. They would not even be intimidated to back down from the truth when Moshe himself tried to appease the people, instead they continued to insist that there was no chance of living in Eretz Yisrael. So many people have taken this important lesson to heart and have followed the lead of these great men, continuing to tell others of the dangers of living in Eretz Yisrael and how doing so is reckless and brash.

Then in this week’s parsha we have more great role models. Korach, of course, was a well respected leader before this point, but now he could not sit idly by and used his influence for positive change. He knew that Moshe clearly had appointed Aaron to the position of Kohen Gadol out of favoritism; God had nothing to do with it. Korach called Moshe out on it by blatantly mocking the laws Moshe had taught. It was not enough to disagree with Moshe, rather he had to publicly humiliate and deride him, the only acceptable way of disagreeing with a great leader. Speaking respectably was not going to win him so many followers!

Last we have the famous pair, Datan and Aviram. They would not be controlled by Moshe’s selfish decisions, refusing to meet with him in respectful dialog. Nay, but only harsh condemnation of Moshe was the way to show they were right. Furthermore, they called out God Himself for having taken them out of Mitzrayim, describing it with the same beautiful terminology that God used to describe Eretz Yisrael. Clearly the land they grew up in, the one they were accustomed to, was far superior to the one God set aside for them to live in, and they had to make sure everyone knew it.

So many amazing role models for us to learn from, and all of them have had followers among the people I’ve met, speaking with the same amount of audacity and promoting similar ideas. Clearly the lessons of these great personalities have not been lost in the annals of time. Of course, I would be remiss if I did not mention the two important aspects that all of these role models had in common: God did not hesitate with His retribution to punish them for their sins, and many, many fellow Jews died as a result of their actions. So perhaps these are not the role models we should be emulating after all?

Shabbat Shalom.

Succot 5778

“בסכת תשבו שבעת ימים כל-האזרח בישראל ישבו בסכת”

“In Succot you shall dwell seven days, all citizens of Yisrael shall dwell in Succot”

– Vayikra 23:42

This is the commandment for us to live in the Succah during Succot, but what exactly does it mean to “live” in the Succah? We all know of the requirement to eat in the Succah and many make the effort to sleep out there was well, but is that all it entails?

The Hebrew word used here is “לשבת” which literally means to sit but also has the connotation of setting up a permanent residence. Many lessons can be learned from the events of the Avot based on whether the word “לשבת” (to dwell; set up a permanent residence) or “לגור” (to sojourn; set up a temporary residence) is used. Here we use the former clearly indicating that the Succah should be more than simply a place we go for meals and bed time, rather it should be the place we are primarily, just like the home we live in.

So what exactly does that entail? Just about anything you can think of that normally you’d do in your house, do it in your Succah instead. Want to do some learning? Learn out in the Succah. Want to play a game with your family? Play out in the Succah. Want to have a friendly chat with a neighbor? Sit out in the Succah. For years now I’ve even been bringing my laptop with me out into the Succah. All of the things you do as part of everyday life, do it in the Succah if you can. Chazal tells us we should even bring our nice dishes out to the Succah; don’t think that you should bring out anything less just because you’re outdoors. If you would normally eat on fancy china inside, bring it out to the Succah as well.

This is what it really means to live in the Succah. It shouldn’t be a place you just pop into for a snack on occasion or somewhere you go to sleep, but it should really become the place you live for those seven days, as much as is possible. Obviously adverse weather conditions are a valid reason to stay indoors, but here in Eretz Yisrael that’s hardly a problem and there’s little reason not to spend most of your day under the protection of the Succah’s canopy.

Chag Sameach!

Yom Kippur – 5778

An oft-repeated theme as we approach Yom Kippur is the importance of asking forgiveness. Since the books are being sealed, we want to enter them with as clean a record as we can, and that means making up for past offenses and seeking to strengthen our relationships with others. Unfortunately, many people today have lost touch with the concept of genuine companionship in favor of electronic company, where comments on social media are considered a valid way to bond with another human. As such, the importance of requesting forgiveness is often delegated to general posts asking everyone to forgive them and lack any serious element to them.

That’s not the point I want to focus on right now, rather I want to focus on the part of the receiver of an apology. As difficult as it is to ask forgiveness of someone, it seems that it is equally as difficult to grant it. When someone approaches another – be they friend, family, or casual acquaintance – and apologizes to them, the response is usual something along the lines of “It’s fine”, “Don’t worry about it”, or “Well you should be sorry”, but very rarely is it “I forgive you”.

Why is it so difficult to utter those words, “I forgive you”? Maybe it’s because it’s easier to try and dismiss the incident as unimportant, even though feeling were actually hurt. Maybe it’s because people associate some kind of guilt with accepting an apology, like they don’t want to feel responsible for carrying the burden of granting forgiveness. Maybe it’s because they don’t really forgive them and don’t want to admit it.

My wife shared with me this past year a D’var Torah about Yosef and his reconciliation with his brothers. When he first reveals himself, he says that it was all an act of God to save them from hunger when the famine came and they should not be upset at themselves for it, but he doesn’t say he forgives them. Then after Yaakov Avinu is buried, his sons return to Yosef to attempt to appease him, and again he tells them not to be upset and that it’s all from God, but he doesn’t forgive them. Never does it state that he forgave his brothers for what they did, and it’s obvious that the feelings of guilt remained for all those long years.

When there’s no real forgiveness, there’s no real closure, either. When there’s no real closure, people can maintain the feeling of regret (on the side of the offender) or anger (on the side of the offended) for a long time, sometimes forever. For a long-term relationship, those feelings could ultimately taint the connection with mistrust and frustration at best, or end the relationship in anger at worst. When forgiveness is genuinely sought and given, then the past offenses could be put aside and eventually forgotten entirely, allowing the relationship to grow unhindered.

It’s happened to me a couple times recently that I made a mistake and someone was upset with me for it. In both instances I sought forgiveness twice, but I was not forgiven. I was given some of the above responses, either refusing to accept my apology or writing it off as unimportant. So now I am entering into Yom Kippur with these un-forgiven offenses on the record against me, and I’m certain I’m not the only who has this problem. Next time someone approaches you in apology, instead of dismissing them out of hand, recognize the fact that they put in great effort to bring themselves to seek forgiveness and that you can put in the great effort to grant it.

May we all be written and sealed in the book of Good Life. G’mar Chatima Tova.

Rosh Hashanah 5778

When reading through the Nevi’im and seeing all the descriptions of how Bnei Yisrael strayed from Hashem and turned to idol worship, we of the modern age are surprised by their behavior. How could the nation that witnessed daily miracles in the Beit HaMikdash and Yetziat Mitzrayim was still a recent event turn away from God so quickly? How could they bow down to simple statues of gold or stone when they could worship the One True God? We fail to understand just how different things were at that time. Surrounded by pagan nations, it was normal to worship a god, what was unique about us is that we worshiped The God whom we can’t see. It’s very difficult to relate to God when He can’t be readily seen or heard, whereas it’s much easier to relate to something physical, even if it’s just a statue.

Despite the difficulty, we know that God is there and He hears us and we must strive to make a connection with Him. Then the question must be asked: How are we to relate to Him? There are different ways in which the relationship between Bnei Yisrael and Hashem is portrayed throughout Tanach, and it comes down to one of three types of relationships.

The first is a popular topic for inspirational shiurim: that of a husband and wife. Shir HaShirim portrays our relationship with Hashem in this way, where we are the wife – often a wayward wife – and Hashem is our husband. This gives us a beautiful metaphor for how to view Hashem, as a loving husband who provides us with all our needs out of love, even if sometimes we are unappreciative. So, too, we wish to give of ourselves to Him out of love for Him, without any conditions or expectation of reward.

The second type of relationship is that of a father and son. We refer to Hashem as our Father in heaven who cares for us as his dearest, firstborn son. This is an apt description: Hashem has guidelines He laid down for us and expects us to follow, even if we don’t always understand them, but we know that He does it with our best interests in mind. We also know that when He punishes us, He does it also out of love to direct us how to grow up to be responsible, mature adults, and He won’t harm us excessively even if we deserve it.

The third relationship is probably the hardest for anyone growing up in a “democracy”  to understand, that of a king and his subjects. A king has total authority over his subjects and even the slightest disrespect shown to him could result in severe punishment or even death. The king makes decrees that must be followed and dire consequences will follow if we don’t. We have little to no connection with the king and rarely see him, and even those who see him don’t understand how he thinks or makes decisions. On the other hand, we know that the king is a benevolent one who doesn’t harm anyone needlessly and has set down laws to protect his people, both from within and from without.

Tonight we will recycle our old calendars and pull out our new ones for 5778 as the new year begins. At the same time, the Aseret Y’mei T’shuva will begin, the ten days of repentance. During these coming ten days, we’ll replace or add mentions of Hashem using the word Melech, King. When we’re approaching Hashem in supplication and asking for mercy and a blessed new year, we are approaching Him as a subject approaching the king to make a request. We have to keep in mind that He has total control over us and makes the final decision what we receive this year. One should not approach a meeting with The King with levity or a feeling of being entitled, but with the knowledge that their ability to stand before Him again next year is dependent on this moment. The King must be approached with utmost awe and respect and pray that He judges us with mercy.

May everyone have a Shanah Tova U’M’tuka and a K’tiva V’Chatima Tova.